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So, I’m hunched over my laptop, bathed in the sickly glow of the screen, frantically Googling “how to hide bodies.” Okay, not really, but that’s the kind of paranoia that drove me to buy the Amazon Basics Steel Home Security Electronic Safe. Was it overkill for protecting my collection of rare Pogs and my secret…
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I didn’t buy this Takki Portable Power Station because I’m some off-grid survivalist or a camping enthusiast. No, I bought it because I’m a chronically unprepared idiot who’s tired of my phone dying at the most inopportune moments. You know, like when you’re lost in a sketchy part of town, or when you’re trying to…
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We’ve all seen those survival shows where some jacked dude drinks his own piss and eats grubs for breakfast. That ain’t me, chief. But I still like to pretend I’m rugged sometimes, you know? That’s where the Garmin inReach Mini 2 comes in. I bought this little gizmo because, quite frankly, I’m tired of my…
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Air mattresses are usually about as comfortable as sleeping on a pile of deflated balloons. So when I heard about the SoundAsleep Dream Series, I was skeptical. Another overhyped inflatable disaster? But after my third night crashing on my buddy’s lumpy couch (long story, don’t ask), I was desperate enough to give it a shot.…
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It’s ass o’clock in the morning, and I’m stumbling around my yard in boxers, desperately trying to remember if I turned off the sprinkler before passing out last night. Spoiler alert: I didn’t. As I squelched through my newly formed swamp, I realized something had to change. After a little research, I found this RAINPOINT…
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I’m not a neat freak. My apartment looks like a small animal sanctuary threw up a combination of fur, lint, and questionable snacks. But even I have my limits. When the tumbleweeds of cat hair started eclipsing the dust bunnies, I knew it was time to weaponize. So, I decided to try out this BISSELL…
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I didn’t buy the Garmin Striker 4 because I’m some tech-savvy angler with a passion for sonar. Hell, I barely know which end of the fishing rod to hold. No, I bought this little gadget because my buddy wouldn’t shut up about it. “It’s like x-ray vision for the water,” he said. Yeah, right. But…
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I never thought I’d be the guy reviewing ab machines on the internet, but here we are. Life’s funny like that. One minute you’re scrolling through Amazon, laughing at the cheesy fitness gizmos, and the next thing you know, you’re unboxing said gizmo in your living room. Here’s what happened next. Update: BEST PRICE on…
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We’ve all been there, running late, keys in hand, ready to conquer the day, and then… click, click, nothing. Your car battery’s deader than me ex’s love for me. That’s why I reluctantly shelled out the cash this NOCO Boost Plus GB40. Was it a moment of desperation or a stroke of genius? Here’s my…
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I didn’t exactly leap out of bed one morning with a burning desire to review LED recessed ceiling lights. No, my journey into the world of home illumination began with a leak, a collapsed ceiling, and a string of expletives. As I stood there, staring at the gaping hole where my living room ceiling used…