Let’s be real – the word “portable” attached to “air conditioner” usually means disappointment. It’s like promising a unicorn and delivering a donkey with glitter glued to its ass.
Yet, here I am, staring at this Aoxun contraption, wondering if it’ll live up to the hype.
Here’s what happened.
Update:
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First Impressions
When the box arrived, I braced myself for the cheap plastic monstrosity that usually accompanies bargain appliances. Surprisingly, the Aoxun wasn’t half bad. It’s not going to win any design awards, but it’s sleek enough not to look like a reject from a 1980s sci-fi flick. The build quality feels decent, not flimsy like some of its competitors.
Setup was pretty painless – there were some instructions, but you could pretty much figure it out on your own. The included window kit is a bit janky, but hey, it works. Within minutes, I had the beast plugged in, vent installed, and was ready to crank the cold.
Within 10 minutes, I had this bad boy humming. And by humming, I mean making a noise somewhere between a purring tiger and a geriatric lawnmower.
But then, like a miracle in this sweaty purgatory, cool air started flowing. It wasn’t the Arctic blast I’d fantasized about, but in that hot, sweaty moment, it felt like God himself was blowing a kiss my way. Very nice.
Key Features
Cooling Power: Aoxun claims this unit can cool up to 300 sq.ft. In reality, it turned my 250 sq.ft studio from “seventh circle of hell” to “mildly toasty purgatory” in about 30 minutes. Not bad, considering my apartment usually defies the laws of thermodynamics.
3-in-1 Functionality: This thing offers cooling, dehumidifying, and fan modes. The dehumidifier function turned my apartment from “tropical rainforest” to “maybe I don’t need to evolve gills” in a few hours. As for the fan mode, it’s about as useful as a screen door on a submarine – stick to the AC function.
Programmable Timer: The 24-hour timer is great for the forgetful or the lazy (I proudly claim both titles). Set it to kick on an hour before you get home, and you’ll feel like you’ve got a very dedicated, if somewhat noisy, butler.
Sleep Mode: Ever tried to sleep through what sounds like a small jet engine in your room? The sleep mode drops the noise to a more tolerable “distant highway traffic” level. It’s not silent, but it beats waking up in a puddle of your own sweat.
Portability: With built-in wheels and a handle, moving this unit is like dragging a cooperative drunk friend home – manageable, but not exactly graceful. The wheels are a nice touch, though they’re about as smooth as a teenage boy’s pickup lines.
Pros
- Quick Setup: If you can assemble IKEA furniture without crying, you can set this up.
- Effective Cooling: It won’t turn your place into an igloo, but it’ll keep you from melting into the couch.
- Multi-Functionality: The dehumidifier mode is surprisingly effective, potentially saving you from buying a separate unit.
- Remote Control: For when moving from the couch is just too much effort in this heat.
Cons
- Noise Level: It’s not exactly whisper-quiet. Think “white noise” meets “minor construction project”.
- Size: It’s portable in the same way a medium-sized dog is portable – technically true, but not always practical.
Final Thoughts
The Aoxun 9700BTU Portable AC is like that friend who’s a bit rough around the edges but always comes through in a pinch. It’s not perfect – it’s loud, it’s bulky, and it won’t win any beauty contests. But when you’re desperate for relief from the heat, it’s a reliable soldier in the war against summer.
If you’re looking for whisper-quiet operation or sleek design, keep shopping. But if you want effective cooling without breaking the bank, and don’t mind a bit of white noise, the Aoxun 9700BTU could be a great buy for you.
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